Related article: I am Jack's cult phenomenon
'Fight Club,' a hopeful biography
Brian John Mitchell
have a hard time talking about “Fight Club.” It’s not because
I’m not supposed to talk about it, but because of what it reveals
about me when I do talk about it. “Fight Club” could be about
me. A general lack of direction combined with a need to fill up
every moment of my life because of being raised to be a workaholic
(and alcoholic, for that matter) causes a constant and overwhelming
sense of dread. I have trouble sleeping because I feel like I
am wasting my life. I keep thinking my dad’s advice for what to
do with my life would somehow solve things, but our relationship
doesn’t really involve us talking to each other. The failure of
the relationship with my dad is probably what led to my need of
create a new family support system. A desperate need not to feel
community of support groups such as NA and AA was a great solution.
They made me feel like a part of something. I got to play the
part of somebody’s son and someone else’s father. Every night
of the week was like a different family reunion. Sunday and Monday
for the ones who lost control every weekend. Tuesday and Thursday
for the dads with DWIs. Wednesday for those trying to quit narcotics.
Friday for those trying to score narcotics. Saturday for those
with nothing better to do. When you start going to meetings every
day, it gets to the point where you stop being a part of the group.
You start to realize you’ve become a spectator. The most important
meeting starts to be Friday night so you can pick up a score.
The problem is the drugs just stop cutting it and the groups stop
cutting it and you end up back at nothing. Back to depression
is when I first saw “Fight Club.” I didn’t really know anything
going into the theater except some people had said I would like
it. I slammed a couple of drinks and went to the theater. The
first third of the movie I was all too familiar with; going to
support groups and being clever was all my life was about for
a couple years. I also know that I unfortunately define myself
by what I own, and if I lost all my stuff I might kill myself.
It would be easier to kill myself than to start over at zero.
This is where “Fight Club” starts to offer me hope. Jack doesn’t
kill himself; he seizes the opportunity to reinvent himself, to
create a new freedom. After tasting his freedom, Jack decides
to spread it to the whole world.
work a few weeks later, a fight club started. I don’t really remember
exactly how. I think it started when I pushed a co-worker to the
ground for pissing me off about something. It ended up with him
getting three days off for an on-the-job-injury caused by my elbow
in his back. This became the way we spent our downtime. The club
ended a few weeks later when someone got to into a fight and pulled
some bare wires from a support pillar in the warehouse and put
them on his opponent’s head in an electrocution attempt. It made
everything seem too serious and extreme. Instead of taking things
up a notch, I let things slip through my fingers. I let myself
sink back down into my safe, structured life instead of starting
a revolution for all the people who were letting themselves be
casually oppressed by consumerism.
wasn’t ready to hit the bottom. I’m still not ready to hit the
bottom and I need to be ready to hit the bottom to take things
to the next level. I need to let everything go to transform myself
and figure out who I am and hopefully win the girl. This is why
I want “Fight Club” to be my biography. I want to be a hero and
I want to get the girl.